Is My Appearance Holding Me Back?
Short answer? Not at all.
However, if you had asked me this 5 years ago I would have said yes, but now I know better.
I KNOW NOW THAT MY APPEARANCE WASN’T HOLDING ME BACK BUT MY MINDSET SURE WAS.
When I first started taking the steps to become a doula I was really in my head about what I had to offer my future clients. I filled my mind with the most fucked up self-talk ever. I would ask myself why would someone hire me and I never had a good answer. I would always think well why would they? I have no children. I don’t have a medical background. I’ve never even been to a birth. My clients will see that I’m fat and think I’m lazy. No one wants a lazy doula. I don’t know what I’m talking about. I have tattoos, they won’t see me as a professional.
AAAHH! Just writing this stuff makes me feel gross. I can’t believe I use to think like this. It’s so exhausting.
5 years ago I would have said that when most people look at me they see, tattoos, green hair, and a fat female body. That may still be the case, and I can’t control that.
But. Here’s what I can control.
- My Thoughts
- My Feelings
- My Perception
- My Attitude
- My Style
- My Actions
- My Words
And most importantly,
- How I feel about myself
We all know the old saying: “Never judge a book by its cover.”
Here’s the problem with this, we, as a society, are judgmental. Most of the time it’s a way for the brain to assess a person and help determine the next interaction with them. Knowing this is helpful to decide how we want to present ourselves to others and if you are a business owner, then this is something you should give some extra thought to.
There is nothing wrong with being conscious of how you present to others.
Asking yourself questions like:
- How do I look to my potential client?
- Will they want to engage with me?
- If I were my client, would I talk to me?
- Do I look and act professional?
This is smart to keep in mind and I think it’s an important exercise to do.
However, what’s more critical is SELF CONFIDENCE!
Ask me again what I think when people see me and I will tell you that they see my awesome tattoos that tell a story about my passions, my bold choice to have fun colored hair, my beautiful bright hazel eyes, my comforting smile, my fat squishy body that’s perfect for snuggles.
I’m inviting. I’m loving. I’m comforting.
That is what my clients are hiring me for. Comfort, support, compassion.
Long story short, your clients don’t care if you have tattoos, or crazy hair colors, or a pierced nose. They care that you will be there for them, that you will support them without judgment, and you will do as you promise.
And, if they do care about your tattoos or your nose ring, then they are not the right clients for you.
Wanna know a secret? They aren’t the only ones out there having a baby.
So get out there and be your beautiful self because, doula, you have so much to offer!
Remember what Annie said, “You’re never fully dressed without a smile!”
How will you start to shift your mindset?
